Well Hello and Byeeeee
by shipperfection
Summary: Just another Troyler fanfic with a twisted plot line that hopefully will make you cry. Please vote and comment!
1. Prologue

Two boys and one bedroom. The smell of sweat, alcohol, and vomit fill the room. When the two sleeping boys awaken, they will be dazed and ponder on what happened the night before. The two youtubers may have partied too hard for their own good.

_The DJ keeps playing such amazing songs. I'm trying to dance but my coordination skills are not the greatest and the drinks Tyler keeps handing me are making it worse. But who cares? Tonight is supposed to be fun and crazy. The sides of my vision keep blurring in and out, but with four simple words I decide to leave the party behind._

"Let's goooo y-your house."

_I'm nodding my head in the motion of yes. _Within moments Tyler and Troye arrive at Troye's house, which is unusually quiet. Tyler pulls Troye in the door in a quick motion and slams him into the wall. _I never imagined his lips would taste so good and feel just right on mine. I open my mouth to allow him access and show that I approve. My moaning and his are locked in a battle to who can make the other moan the loudest._

"Couch. Now."

Tyler picks Troye up, never losing connection with his lips and puts him on the couch. Hands go flying trying to embrace and feel one another as quickly as possible. Both hungry for each other and filled with pure lust.

"Please Tyler, please. I need you."

With no hesitation Tyler thrust two fingers within Troye and began to scissor him. When Tyler felt Troye was ready he removed his fingers and replaced them with his dick. He began to rock back and forth quickly. Both boys hit the point at the same time and sighed with relief. Tyler wrapped his arms around Troye and began to drift into much needed sleep. Right before he passed out, he heard Troye mutter silently, "I love you, Tilly."

_ My head is throbbing and the sun is bearing down onto my eyelids. I dare open my eyes for a split second and shocked to see Troye's face on my bare chest. What the hell happened last night? _Tyler quickly but carefully got out of the bed and glanced down at himself. He was an absolute mess and wasn't wearing any clothes. _Oh my god, what have I done? I need to get out of here and clear my head!_

Tyler quickly grabbed a outfit and went running out of the house. "Please tell me I didn't sleep with my best friend last night and not remember it. And he said the 'L' word... was it the real him talking or the drunk one. What's going to happen!? Tyler you are so stupid, how could you let yourself do this. Now you have gone and fallen in love with Troye and you can't have him. You worthless piece of shit he was a virgin and you didn't take it slow on him. Ugh!"

Falling to his knees, Tyler began to sob uncontrollably because his love life was a mess. The one person he cared so much about was the one he hurt the most. Tyler sat there for three hours contemplating on what to do about the whole situation. When he stood up was when he knew what he had to do.

"Ouchhhhhhhh," Troye moaned as he did his morning stretch of the arms. He instantly regretted drinking so much last night, because of the massive headache he had. Worst part was Zoella was coming over to help edit their collab video for his youtube at three. He instantly felt this sharp pain in his stomach, legs, and groin. Troye quickly thought back to the previous night remembering only bits and pieces of it, but he had sex with the one and only Tyler Oakley. Before he could process this information any longer he heard the door bell ring.

"Shit," Troye mumbled as he grabbed his favorite turquoise colored shirt and a pair of comfy sweatpants. Running down the stairs he combed and/or attempted to fix his bed hair. He opened the door to find a very perky and happy Zoella.

"Oh my, what happened to you?"

"Partied a little too hard."

Both laughed at the fact of how bad Troye's hair looked for once and about how much the fans have been tweeting about the collab video. Troye and Zoella grabbed his computer and began to work on their collab video, since both wanted to get it edited and posted as soon as possible. Neither realized they had been editing for a solid thirty minutes until the door bell rang and Troye's heart sank when he opened the door.


	2. Chapter 1

After asking many people how to get to Troye's house I finally see it at the end of the block. I check to see who is home and I see Zoella's and Alfie's cars parked in the drive. If I don't want to get caught I need to be quiet. Avoiding all the windows I head into the backyard where the back entrance is. My heart is racing and I quietly open the door, but it creaks slightly as I open. I had two choices, (1) leave the door open or (2) close it and have to open it again. I swiftly decide to leave it open and slowly make my way to Troye's room. All I hear is Troye sobbing, Zoella comforting him with kind words, and Alfie is on his phone. I force myself not to go in the room and beg Troye to forgive me. When I get to Troye's room I grab all of my stuff and pack quickly. As I head back for the door I realize it has been closed and start to panic.

"Why?" Alfie says in a scornful whisper.

"I love him."

"Go," Alfie says as we walk to the door together and go outside. Soon as the door shuts Alfie punches the shit out of me and I know I deserve it.

"What the hell do you think you are doing? If you love him that is not how you tell him."

"Alfie... I don't know! We did it together and it scared the complete shit out of me and I can't think about it without breaking down and hating myself. Please just let me continue on what I've done in past about my problems."

"Run away?" I silently nod and hear him sigh.

"I don't understand completely but you and Troye are good friends. If you need anything or just need to talk you can call or text me. But Tyler... please don't rush your decisions."

As much as I hate to admit, Alfie is right. We hug and part ways. I walk towards the street were a taxi is waiting and Alfie goes back into the house with Troye and Zoella. I don't want to leave... but running is the only thing I know how to do. The last thing I want to do is board the plane and go home. A place where I'll be alone and have nothing to do, but make videos where I will pretend to be happy. I'm glad I can somewhat act.

The flight makes me exhausted because I cried almost the whole time I was awake, which was the majority of the time. Everything I do or say reminds me of something to do with Troye and how I lost my chance. Troye is the first guy I have ever liked so much that I just lose my mind around. I leave the plane with my backpack and go to get my suitcase. Over the intercom I hear them say something about my flight's luggage will be arriving in ten minutes. I find an open seat and pull out my phone to pass the time. I find many twitter, tumblr, and youtube notifications, but only three texts. The first is from Alfie asking if my flight had landed yet and if I was okay. I quickly reply saying and yes. The next text is from my mom saying she was busy today and would see me tomorrow morning. I don't respond and the next text makes my heart sink, it is from Troye. He texted me saying that he wanted me to call him because he needed to talk to me. I can't breath, but I text him back I will call him in thirty minutes. I go to place my phone in my pocket when it chimes telling me I have a text from Troye. I check the message and go to get my luggage so I could go home. After getting trampled to get my bag I leave to hail a cab. I finally make it home and pull out my phone. I unlock my phone and press Troye's name and call him. My breathing becomes hitched when he answers. We stay in silence for what felt for eternity.

"H-hey," I hear him whisper into the phone. His voice was hoarse and cracking, probably from all the crying.

"Troye..."

"Stop, I don't know what happened between us nor do I know why you felt like you had to beat the shit out of me instead of just talking. Tyler you are still my friend, but I can't bring myself to forgive you right now." I shudder from the coldness in his voice and I force myself to hold in the sob forming.

"I know... maybe one day you can, but Troye please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you, I couldn't. But it is in our best interest to have alone time away from each other for a while. If you see for now in public, please don't say hello. Please do not hurt yourself again." He adds the last sentence hurriedly and he pleads with his voice. Troye is the only person that knows about my suicide attempt two years ago. I don't know what had happened to make me want to kill myself, but nothing has been the same since then.

"Okay."

"Promise me you won't."

"I promise," I promise even though I know that I will break it.


	3. Chapter 2

I pull the door open to see who is outside and I am shocked to see a very messed up Tyler. He looked rough and smelled pitiful. He was in one of my shirts, had no shoes on, his hair was a big mess, and his eyes where bloodshot, possibly from crying.

"W-what..." I'm cut off from his lips meeting mine. I was in so much shock that I had no chance to kiss back, because he pulled away in a matter of seconds. His eyes looked desperate and full of anger. I hear Zoella asking who is there, but I lose her voice when Tyler's fist connects with my face.

"Tyler!" I choke out while spitting blood out of my mouth. As I finish his name he punches again and connects with my nose. I crumple to the ground holding my bleeding and possibly broken nose. Tyler pulls his leg back and connects with my side.

"P-please... S-stop..." I squick out as Tyler continues to punch and kick me. I do not fight back because (a) I couldn't, literally I couldn't fight well and (b) I couldn't punch Tyler or hurt him. He is not stopping and blackness is surrounding me. But, I hold my fetal position and just cry to myself. I hear the door open behind me and Zoella screams at the sight she was seeing. The only thought I could form was why? I don't know how long I laid there and endured the pain of my best friend and my crush beat the shit out of me.

**Tyler's POV:**

I kissed him and now regretted it. That one kiss has ruined our friendship and it doesn't help that I decided to take my pain out on him. I try telling myself to stop but I can't. It is not till Zoella screams that I realize what I had done. My hands were swollen and red with Troye's blood. I can't look at him... I can't. But, I do. He lays on the ground in a fetal position, his blood surrounds him and his face is already bruising. Zoella stands in shock at the doorway but rushes towards Troye when I stop. Not knowing what to do, I run away.

"Troye... I'm um s-sorry," I say as I walk away from my crying crush. What had gotten into me?

"What the fuck Tyler? That was not supposed to happen and defiantly not the way to handle the situation! Shit." I just realized all of my stuff is at Troye's house and have nothing but my phone on me. Lucky me that they have a back door that is near Troye's room. I need to give it some time before I go back to his house and break in to get my stuff. I then realize I am lost. Literally, I am lost. Who walks out of a house into a place they have never been before and not think about how to get back? I have no idea what to do or where to go.

**Troye's POV:**

My body hurts and Zoella has finely got my nose to stop bleeding. She just holds me now and lets me cry. We stay like this for a long time until I hear the door bell ring and I shudder with what happened last time it rang. She releases me to go answer the door. I sit there staring at the tv crying, trying to hear what Zoella and the visitor is saying. Just based on the voice I can tell it is not Tyler, it probably is Alfie.

"He did what?" I hear the visitor say after Zoella quickly explains what happened between Tyler and me an hour ago.

"Come on..." Zoella says as she leads the visitor into the living room, who turns out to be Alfie. He awkwardly hugs me and sits on the other side of me.

"Troye... I know this may be difficult, but what happened last night between you two?" Zoella ask me timidly.

I sigh before answering, "Tyler and I was at a party and kinda got drunk. Somehow we made it back to my house and ended up kissing. Then we may have..." Both Zoella and Alfie exchange quick glances at each other and nod in understanding. Zoella leans over and holds me in a hug.

"It will be okay," Alfie says reassuringly.

"No it w-won't, T-tyler will do something to h-himself. W-we need to find him or s-something..." I couldn't finish the sentence at the thought of Tyler trying to commit suicide again. A sob escapes my lips as Alfie steps away to call someone, I hope he is trying to call Tyler.


	4. Chapter 3

I sleep alone in my bed and feel so alone as I lay beside the open space where Tyler would usually sleep when he was over. I can't sleep because of the pain. The pain from the bruising and cracked ribs, but yet... that pain compared nothing to the hole in my heart. It hurt to tell him goodbye, for now. I thought I loved him... but, I'm no longer sure if it is worth it. I keep thinking of how he attempted suicide two years ago and how I was lucky to have been able to stop him. What if he was to attempt and I was not there to stop him... I would never be able to live with myself. I quickly think of someone that would drop everything to help me check on him and was close. Korey was one of my choices but I remembered he was in England with some friends. I then thought Connor would do it and I didn't think he was doing anything. Without even checking the time I speed dial Connor and wait for him to answer.

"Connor?"

"Yup, what's up Troye? How is everything?" Connor ask in a happy, hyper voice.

"I need a favor Connor, something is super wrong and I can't stop thinking about it..."

"What's wrong?" Connor ask in a desperate voice that was about to break down and beg to know. I tell him everything, even the fact that I loved Tyler and that he tried to commit suicide.

"What do I need to do? I'm here for you guys."

"Thank you so much Connor, could you go to Tyler's house and stay with him until Zoella, Alfie, and myself can get there. Our flight leaves tomorrow morning."

"I'm headed to his house right now, I'll just tell Ricky to do my video for O2L tomorrow and tell him it is an emergency."

"Connor... Thank you so much. Please text me when you get with him, I need to know he is safe."

Connor and I exchange our goodbyes and I have gave up on getting any sleep. I head to the extra bedroom to wake Zoella and Alfie up, I need to tell them what is happening.

**Connor's POV:**

It worried me when Troye called me, we are good friends but he usually just texts me. I was at a meet and greet with O2L and thinking it was an emergency so I answered it. Troye then told me what had happened in the past days. I was in shock and scared out of mind at the thought of Tyler committing suicide. When I finish the phone call I quickly ask the on staff body guards to please go get Ricky and tell him it was an emergency. Minutes later they return with a shocked and scared Ricky.

"WHAT'S WRONG? ARE YOU OKAY?" He blurts out very quickly and begins to check all my limbs and face.

"I'm fine, but Tyler isn't. I need to go to him and help Troye... I hate to leave O2L and you, but..." He grabs my face with both hands before he speaks.

"They are you friends Connor. Go to them, I'll always support you and your decisions. I'll be okay without you, but hurry." Ricky says with a wink.

"Oh yeah because we have to talk."

"Ughhhhhhh why can't we just relax at home and cuddle?" Ricky ask with a whimper and puppy dog look.

"Only if you do my O2L video for the day for me." Ricky answers me by wrapping me in a huge hug and kissing me quickly on the lips.

"You got it boo." I kiss him on the forehead and go to leave.

"Hey, Ricky... please don't tell the other boys about Tyler and Troye for now." Ricky slides his fingers across his lips saying his lips are sealed.

"Love you nerd," I say as I blow him a kiss goodbye. He pretends to catch and whispers love you back. It hurts to leave the boys and Ricky, but I need to help Tyler and Troye right now.


	5. Chapter 4

I borrow Ricky's car since I rode with him to the meet and greet. Being horrible with directions, I grab the GPS from the glovebox and type in Tyler's address. According to the GPS it should take me about three hours to get there. I sigh because I don't know what is going on or what is waiting for me at that house. Hopefully Troye, Alfie, and Zoe are on time and get here sometime tomorrow. Should I call Tyler and tell him I'm coming or just talk to him. But, I don't want to scare him or tempt him to try to do something sooner. I'm broken from my serious concentration when my phone beeps three times. I smile at the fact that I can recognize when Ricky texts me, because my phone beeps an extra time when it is him. He texted me telling me that he told the boys I got super sick from lunch and was going home. Also, that he would just ride with one of the other boys home and for me to be careful. After this mess was dealt with, I needed their help on the whole Ronnor situation. Of course I liked him and he liked me, but we didn't know what to do... or how to tell each other our true feeling without being sarcastic. This is going to be a long drive I thought to myself. Who could I call to pass the time? My phone had a mind of its own, because it began to vibrate and ring. I glanced at the caller ID which read Baby Trevor, I sighed debating to answer it or not. He was probably concerned and I didn't want to be mean when he was trying to be nice.

"Hey Trevor."

"Connor... I just wanted to call and make sure you where okay."

"I'm okay just the food got me and I took some medicine that should help in a couple of hours," I say with a little cough.

"Ummmm Connor..."

"What's wrong Trevor?"

"Are you sure you are sick? Because you seem sad and you know you can tell me anything. Also, Ricky seems to be nervous and scared." I hear his voice so full of concern and sigh before I decide to tell him so he can help keep Ricky from falling apart.

"Trevor, something is wrong with Tyler and Troye asked me to go check on him. I don't know what is up, but I just needed to go. Please forgive me on ditching you guys..."

"Connor don't you dare apologize! You are a great friend and I promise not to tell the guys and help Ricky. He seems like he is about to cry, because Tyler is one of his friends. They are just not as close like you and Tyler are. If there is anything I can do just let me know."

"Can you put Ricky on the phone please?" I hear him mumble a yes and hear him walking and pushing his way to Ricky. I faintly hear them talking and Ricky saying give me the phone.

"Hey..." Ricky ask questioningly.

"Nothing is wrong, so breathe. But, I wanted to let you know Trevor knows and please stop worrying. I'll be fine, okay buttercup?"

"Okay, text us later so we know you are alive." We say our quick goodbyes and I turn up the radio still having a while to go before I got to Tyler's house.

**Troye's POV:**

After explaining everything to Zoe and Alfie, we quickly packed and got ready for our flight that would leave in five hours. Since it was close to midnight I decide to write my parents a note instead of waking them.

_Dear Mum & Dad,_

_ Decided to go visit the O2L gang and Tyler in America. I'll call you when the plane lands. I'm not alone, Zoe and Alfie are going, too._

_ Love You Lots, Troye3_

Alfie and Zoe meet me in the living room with their suitcases and I sit on the couch because we have another hour at least till we need to leave for the airport.

"What are you doing?" Alfie asked me in his I'm-half-awake-half-asleep voice.

"Waiting."

"I got us tickets for an earlier flight and if we don't leave now we will miss it." He tells me and I quickly grab my stuff and leave the house. I make sure to lock the door behind me and admire how Alfie always manages to get a great hotel room, earlier flights, etc. We head to the airport to board the plane. We sprint from check in to the actually plane, almost missing it. I sit by myself and in the row behind me is Zoe and Alfie. Perks of flying at two in the morning is there was plenty of seats. I decide to stretch out and listen to music. After I laid down, I then felt the level of my exhaustion sinking and decided to sleep. Because once we landed it would be a while before I would probably get a good nights sleep. I smiled as I drifted off to sleep thinking only about how I had so many great friends.


	6. Chapter 5

I hate myself, how could anyone like or put up with me? I hurt everyone that comes close to me, which causes them to leave my life so easily. I don't blame them... I would want to leave myself if I could. My eyes instantly locates the side table, bottom drawer. That is where I keep it, the thing to call upon when all else fails. I'm on the floor and have been in this exact spot since I got home from Australia. Just been alternating between sobbing, yelling at myself, and sleeping from pure exhaustion and jet lag. I crawl on all fours to the table, moaning in pain as I travel the short distance. I'm shaking as I slide the drawer open and glance at the small pistol like gun. If someone saw me right now they would run scared. I looked like a drugged up monster that had been crying all day. Even though I try so hard I can't stop watching Troye's videos. I know they only make things worse, but I can't stop staring at his level of perfection. The next video on the playlist is his remix of the song I don't wanna be your girl. I freeze as the words punch and slam me in the chest. I choke on the sob escaping from my lips, because I just realized that he is too good for me... And that he doesn't want to be mine. I grab my legs and just rock back and forth as I hear him sing the words that cut me so deep.

**Connor's POV:**

I sigh in relief as the GPS tells me I have less then a mile till I get to Tyler's house. Turning on the blinker, I pull into the drive and park. Before going in I decide to text the boys, even though Troye won't get it till he lands and Ricky and Trevor where probably super busy. It is the thought that counts. So I grab my phone and send a quick text to Troye saying that I was at the house so he could relax and get here as soon as possible. I also send Trevor and Ricky a message saying that I made it to Tyler's and would text them later. Troye, Zoe, and Alfie would be here in about eight more hours, so I just needed to keep Tyler calm until then. I decide to just carry my phone and the keys in, because I totally forgot to grab an extra outfit for tomorrow. Good job Connor! I begin the short trip to the front door and grab for the door knob, noting that it was unlocked.

**Troye's POV:**

I wake up to Zoe shaking me slightly and whispering quietly that it was time to wake up. I moan a quick complaint but sit up and buckle up. The plane ride had been exhausting and long. I grow nervous as the plane descends, I never liked the landing. Zoe sees my grip tighten on the arm rests and offers me her hand, which I gladly take. Relaxing was out of the question and I just concentrate on my breathing. This reminded me of the first time I ever flew with Tyler and how he helped keep me calm during the whole landing process. I truly do miss him so much and hope he is okay. When the plane finally lands we grab our carry ons, mine only included my backpack. The gang quickly got off of the plane and headed to go get our suitcases. Zoe looked like she was about to fall over with exhaustion and Alfie looked so sweet holding her up while we waited. They really would make a cute couple. As we wait I decide to check my phone, hoping to have one text from Connor saying he was at Tyler's house. My phone took its sweet time turning on and when it finally did I was receiving twenty text messages every second. A couple where from my parents asking to text when I land and some from other youtubers I was working with on collabs. The largest bulk of text came from Ricky, Kian, Sam, Trevor, and JC. I also had one from Connor about how he made it to Tyler's house, which makes me sigh in relief to know someone was with him. The other O2L's messages frighten me, because they are all similar. Most saying to answer the phone it was an emergency and to call as soon as possible.

"Zoe, Alfie all the O2L members are texting me like crazy." I say as I turn around to face them.

"Us, too." Zoe mumbles with a shock and scared look on her face.

"Is something wrong?" Alfie ask me since I was the one closet to them.

"I don't think so... I'll call Ricky right now. Will you grab my suitcase for me?" They nod a quick yes and I'm out the door to call Ricky. I quickly type in his number and before the phone could ring once he had already answered.

"Troye... this is Kian." Why would Kian have Ricky's phone?

"I need you to sit down and are you alone?"

"For now, Alfie and Zoe should be here shortly."

"Troye... You guys need to come to the local hospital, I'll send you the address."

"Kian, is everyone okay? What happened? Tell me."

"Not over the phone Troye, just trust me. I'll be waiting for you by the hospital's main entrance.

"But Kian!?"

"Please Troye... Just wait." Kian says with so much desperation and I hear him fighting back tears.

"Okay... We will be there in a couple of minutes." I hang up and find Zoe and Alfie waiting patiently. They register the pain, shock, and how scared I am and instantly jump in the rental car asking where do when need to go.


	7. Chapter 6

I let myself in thinking Tyler had just forgot to lock the door and realize the house is super hot. Yuck, you think he would at least turn on a fan. I cringe as I hear a loud bang and feel something hit me right in the middle of my stomach. My eyes are glued on Tyler's pale face and round eyes as I fall to the ground. I'm shaking and holding in sobs as my hands try to apply pressure to the bullet wound.

**Tyler's POV:**

The song ended and I wanted my story to come to an end. I grabbed ole faithful and placed one bullet in the gun. Nobody will miss me, they will be relived when they don't have to worry about the fragile me. I can do this... The gun is in my right hand and placed in my mouth. The cold steel is disgusting but the gun is the one friend I can count on to be there for me when I need help. I could end all the pain by pulling the trigger.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to the empty living room as my index figure curls around the trigger lowering it. I wait for the pain and escape, but neither come. The gun hadn't fired, it was old but it should've worked! No, I finally was going to have my peace. I hold the gun straight out towards the front door and hit the side of it with my left hand causing it to go off. I glance up to see what I had hit and saw a pale faced Connor who was holding his stomach. He crumples to the floor before I could reach him.

"Oh my God Connor! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!"

"Shhhh I-I'll beee okay," he says faintly between shaky breathes. I grab his phone laying inches away and dial 911.

"Hello this 911 please state your emergency."

"I've accidentally shot my best friend and he is losing a lot of blood." I quickly recite my address and she tells me to put pressure on the wound and keep him talking.

"Tyler..." He stops to spit out blood and I cut him off.

"Connor damn it, don't you dare die on me. Please don't, I won't be able to forgive myself for ever hurting you." I just hold him in my arms and we both shed silent tears. He places his blood soaked hand on my check before attempting to speak.

"It o-okay... L-love e-everyone," his body began to shake uncontrollably and with one final breath and smile he whispered, "g-goodbye."

"No... Connor, please don't leave me!" I start CPR and try giving him mouth to mouth, but I'm pulled away from the body by a police officer. The emergency medical people check for a pulse and pull a large black bag out of the ambulance.

"YOU ARE NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY AND REVIVE HIM! PLEASE! I DID THIS TO HIM! DON'T LET HIM DIE BECAUSE OF MY STUPIDITY!" I keep shouting as two officers force me into the back of a cop car. They shut the door and I'm left watching the people wheel Connor's lifeless body to the back of the ambulance.


	8. Chapter 7

The meet and greet is going great and all the fans are too sweet. Doing these events always makes me feel great and I wish I could meet all of our fans. But, I feel this unsettling feeling in my stomach. Something is wrong and I can't figure out what. Trevor seems to get my vibe and sends me a questioning look. I shrug my shoulders and he says something to the fan in front of him as he walks towards me. The event is over and the staff is pushing everyone out, but some die hard fans are still trying to talk to us.

"You okay?" Trevor ask me in a hush voice to not get any of the other guys attention.

"No... something is not right, I don't know I can just feel it."

"Connor?"

"MayI let myself in thinking Tyler had just forgot to lock the door and realize the house is super hot. Yuck, you think he would at least turn on a fan. I cringe as I hear a loud bang and feel something hit me right in the middle of my stomach. My eyes are glued on Tyler's pale face and round eyes as I fall to the ground. I'm shaking and holding in sobs as my hands try to apply pressure to the bullet wound.

**Tyler's POV:**

The song ended and I wanted my story to come to an end. I grabbed ole faithful and placed one bullet in the gun. Nobody will miss me, they will be relived when they don't have to worry about the fragile me. I can do this... The gun is in my right hand and placed in my mouth. The cold steel is disgusting but the gun is the one friend I can count on to be there for me when I need help. I could end all the pain by pulling the trigger.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to the empty living room as my index figure curls around the trigger lowering it. I wait for the pain and escape, but neither come. The gun hadn't fired, it was old but it should've worked! No, I finally was going to have my peace. I hold the gun straight out towards the front door and hit the side of it with my left hand causing it to go off. I glance up to see what I had hit and saw a pale faced Connor who was holding his stomach. He crumples to the floor before I could reach him.

"Oh my God Connor! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!"

"Shhhh I-I'll beee okay," he says faintly between shaky breathes. I grab his phone laying inches away and dial 911.

"Hello this 911 please state your emergency."

"I've accidentally shot my best friend and he is losing a lot of blood." I quickly recite my address and she tells me to put pressure on the wound and keep him talking.

"Tyler..." He stops to spit out blood and I cut him off.

"Connor damn it, don't you dare die on me. Please don't, I won't be able to forgive myself for ever hurting you." I just hold him in my arms and we both shed silent tears. He places his blood soaked hand on my check before attempting to speak.

"It o-okay... L-love e-everyone," his body began to shake uncontrollably and with one final breath and smile he whispered, "g-goodbye."

"No... Connor, please don't leave me!" I start CPR and try giving him mouth to mouth, but I'm pulled away from the body by a police officer. The emergency medical people check for a pulse and pull a large black bag out of the ambulance.

"YOU ARE NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY AND REVIVE HIM! PLEASE! I DID THIS TO HIM! DON'T LET HIM DIE BECAUSE OF MY STUPIDITY!" I keep shouting as two officers force me into the back of a cop car. They shut the door and I'm left watching the people wheel Connor's lifeless body to the back of the ambulance.

be... Not sure but I hope he is okay."

"You like him don't you? You can trust me." I sigh because he knows and I can't figure out what is wrong. I feel my anxiety starting and I begin to sweat more.

"Yes..." I whisper as the other boys walk towards us.

"Yes what?" Kian asks, being nosy as always.

"Trevor asked me if we could go home now, because the baby is tired." I lie and laugh, because Trevor slightly punches me in the arm.

"Let's go home so the baby can get his nap." JC says towards Trevor, who is now acting mad. We walk towards the car and I want to check my phone but it died like an hour ago. It is killing me to not know if Connor made it safely to Tyler's house. The ride to the house is the longest trip ever because all I can think of is getting to a phone charger. Before we can park I jump out of the car running to my room where my charger is beside my bed. Worst part about having an iPhone is how slowly they power on after being dead. I'm bouncing my knees when all the guys come running in. JC, Kian, and Sam jump on the bed when Trevor takes the seat at my table. Trevor is giving me sympathetic side glances while my phone is powering on and I'm hoping the three don't ask where Connor is but I couldn't be lucky enough for that to happen.

"Where is ?" Sam ask jokingly.

"I don't know, he probably went to the store to get some medicine." They believe the lie and go back to their phones. My phone chimes as it receives text messages and other notifications. I instantly see a text from Connor saying he made it to Tyler's safe and sound. I sigh a breath of relief and realize my gut was wrong, which rarely happened. The weird notification that catches my sight is a voicemail from Tyler. Did Connor's phone die and he is using Tyler's? I leave the room quickly and call him back. It rings for what seems like forever, but he finally answers.

"Ricky..." It is Tyler, I can tell by the voice.

"Yeah, what's up Tyler? Did Connor make it to your house?" He starts weeping into the phone and I'm beginning to panic.

"TYLER! What happened? Is everything okay? Please Tyler tell me. Is it Troye? Is it Zoe? Alfie?" I stop when I hear him suck in a huge breath.

"Ricky... I'm s-sorry. It was an accident, p-please don't hate m-me."

"Tyler, I would never hate you and what was an accident?" I ask quickly and I'm starting to have a panic attack.

"I was going to k-kill myself, but the g-gun misfired."

"Tyler, why? You should've called me, I'm here for you."

"No.. Please let me finish Ricky, I-I need to tell you. So I hit it and it f-fired... It hit C-Connor." With those three words my knees buckle and I'm hyperventilating. I've lost my voice. My Connor hit by a bullet and I see him bleeding as he takes his last breath.

"I tried t-to save h-him. I truly did Ricky! I held him as he took his last breath and I thought y-you should h-hear this from me instead o-of some d-doctor. They went to the b-big hospital close to my h-house. Ricky... please go to h-him. I c-can't I'm in j-jail. Don't worry about m-me just take care of C-Connor. I'm s-so s-sorry!" I'm not breathing, I sit in the hallway shaking my head no. I stand up and punch the wall screaming. I hear the four guys running to the door and I just starting sobbing into the floor. I can't trust my legs to support me. My Connor is dead. Dead. Not him, anyone but him.

**Kian's POV:**

We hear Ricky scream and all glance at each other before running to the hallway. Trevor grabs Ricky's phone and starts speaking to whoever is on the phone. JC and Sam are trying to comfort Ricky but nothing is working. I look at Trevor as he ends the phone call. His face is pale and he looks like he is about to break down, too.

"Trevor, who was on the phone? What is wrong?" Trevor looks at Ricky as his tears begin to fall. JC, Sam, and I are looking at Trevor pleading with our eyes for him to tell us.

"It was Tyler... There was an accident and Connor was shot." Trevor barely says through the sobs that escape his lips. Ricky is still weeping into the floor and I'm in utter shock.

"Is he..." I start to ask the question but can't bring up the courage to ask, but Trevor answers my question with a nod of his head in the motion of yes. My tears fall down quickly and we are all crying. Nobody says anything, we just hold each other and cry over losing one of our best friends. I don't know what to do, he can't be dead. I was just hugging him a couple of hours ago and talking to him. I don't believe it and I don't want to believe that Connor is gone.


	9. Chapter 8

I don't feel the tears rolling down my face, I'm numb. The police officers keep their eyes on the road and tense up every time a sob escapes me. I've been begging them to tell me if Connor was dead or not, but they remain silent.

"Please... He is one of my best friends and I just need to know. He is one of the kindest and most out going people I know. I love him like a brother so much. Please..." I choke on the last word and the cop who is not driving sighs.

"Doc said he was dead." My world crashes and I'm left in a black hole with no one. I manage to thank him before I break down again. I killed him. I'm so stupid, because of me Connor will never smile, film a youtube video, dance, goof off, or hug someone ever again. Why couldn't the gun have fired when it was pointed at me? The driver pulls into the county jail, a place I've never been before. The cop that didn't drive comes and opens the door for me. I awkwardly get out of the car, which was very difficult without my hands. He grabs my arm and helps me out. His grip is not very tight but enough to tell me to not run. We walk through the front doors and head to the receptionist desk.

"Hey Jim, what is this for?" Jim glances at me before answering the girl.

"Murder." Her eyes widen as she grabs a key from under her desk.

"Well... Um, we don't have an open cell but you can put him in cell number three." She hands him the keys eyeballing me and then goes back to typing on the computer. Jim leads me towards a small room and I could only imagine how many times he has lead a criminal in here.

"You need to change into these," He hands me a jumpsuit, "and leave all personal items here."

"Okay..." He sees me slowly pull my shirt off and how self conscious I am about revealing my body to him. Jim then turns around to give me some privacy.

"Thank you," I mumble to him and he then turned around to face me.

"You get one phone call, we will contact your mother to let them know you are here. You can choose whom ever you like to call." I know who I have to call...

"Um, I don't remember their phone number." Jim then shocks me by handing me my cell phone. I've never been or done this before but I don't think he is supposed to do that. I quickly unlock it and call Ricky. It rings and rings, I'm almost in tears because his voicemail message starts to play. I quickly tell him something is wrong and he needs to call me as soon as he could. I end the phone call and hand my phone back to Jim.

"No answer?"

"Ricky usually always answers his phone..."

"I'll come back in fifteen minutest to let you try again." I hold back the sob in my throat because this man was being so nice to me and I had just meet him.

"Thank you so much." He just nods and grabs my arm to lead me to the cell. Where I will be staying until my mom could fly out here and get me. I notice my cellmate and I'm scared to death. He is muscled up and dangerously large compared to my small body.

**Troye's POV:**

"Alfie could you please drive faster?"

"I'm going as fast I can in this traffic."

"It's okay Troye. Everyone is probably going to be okay." Zoe says trying to soothe me.

I sigh and hold my head in my hands. My knees are shaking from anxiety and I keep thinking of the worst situations possible. I try to concentrate on breathing but my mind keeps going back to Tyler's past suicide attempt. Alfie finally pulls into the hospital's parking lot and we find the first open parking spot and park the rental car. I don't know if my legs will support me but I run towards the door. I hear Zoe and Alfie running behind me. When I reach the door a pale faced Kian is standing by the door. He looks like he had been crying and he was shaking. I run up to him and wrap him into a bear hug and he starts sobbing into my neck. Zoe stifles a sob behind me and Alfie grabs her hand for support. I leave Kian alone and just let him cry. He finally looks up and wipes the tears away, which is pointless because more just take their place minutes later.

"Follow me, everyone is here."

"Everyone?" I ask questioningly as we walk towards the elevators.

"I meant the rest of o2l. Ricky has taken it the worse, he hasn't said a word since it happened."

"Kian, what happened?" I ask him this forcefully because I need to know what is going on. Zoe and Alfie also want to know but are trying to stay out of the way.

"Connor... was shot." My eyes widen and I'm in shock.

"How? Is he okay?" The last question makes Kian start crying again and he sobs once before answering.

"Tyler had tried to commit suicide, but the gun misfired." His words bring tears to my eyes. I wasn't there for Tyler when he needed help and he could've taken his life then. If he would have prevailed I would have been alone in the world. I would've lost my best friend and the person I loved the most in the world. Kian sees the pain in my eyes and continues.

"So Tyler hit the gun to try to make it work and it went off. The bullet hit Connor in the stomach."

"K-Kian please tell me Connor is okay!" More tears begin to fall and I know by the way he acted and looked. Connor was dead and it was all my fault.


	10. Chapter 9

He is gone. No. Please God no. Not him, not my beloved Connor. Why? I loved him and now he is gone with my heart. The guys are trying to be supportive but they can't handle it either right now. Baby Trevor has been a blessing, he just holds me as my tears keep coming. Connor was my everything. I can't function or live without him. It's only us, Connor's parents are on their way here, so is Troye, Zoe, and Alfie.

Time goes by but I still can't think of a world with Connor not in it. I glance at the trio as they walk in with Kian. They see the mess of humans in front of them and they start to break down, too. Zoe went down first, she was too kind hearted for her own good. Alfie held her as she silently cried into his chest, this sent a jolt of pain to my chest. The thought of me never being able to hold Connor again crept into my mind. I choke out a sob and Trevor rubs his hand up and down my back attempting to comfort me. The sounds of gasping makes me focus my eyes on little Troye. He is shaking and in total shock... Like I was. Surprisingly I feel my legs support me as I stand to go to him. Kian sees me and takes my spot by Trevor, JC, and Sam. As I wrap my arms around him he breaks down.

"IT'S ALL MY FAULT," he shouts into my chest.

"No it is not," I squeak out barely forming words.

"If I wouldn't have asked him to go to Tyler's this would never have happened to him... I'm a horrible person. I got my best friend killed." He loses it after the last sentence and starts to sob. The boys behind me try to contain their sobs and so do Zoe and Alfie. I finally can't hold it in and lay my head into Troye's neck and sob with him. We stand there for the longest, neither of us want to stop crying or go back to reality without Connor. If a complete stranger was to walk in they would see a group of kids crying. Trevor holds his knees to his chest rocking back and forth in the chair with a blank, tear filled stare. Sam just looks down at the ground not even bothering to wipe his tears away. Kian has his head on JC's shoulder and is curled into a ball trying to hide his crying. JC has his eyes closed and holds his hands together to try and stop them from shaking. Alfie is holding a crying Zoe, while he has tears running down his face, too. Troye and I just hold each other crying over the loss of a best friend and one true love. We all glance at the door when we hear a knock that asks us if he or she may come in.

"Y-yes..." Alfie says at the door after getting slight head nods from us.

"I'm the on staff doctor for the day and wanted to come in to speak with you. I know you have lost someone very dear to you. The death of is very tragic and horrific. If any of you would like to see him, before he is sent to the funeral home I will allow you to now. You must go in one by one and each get two minutes... to say goodbye. So, who wants to go first?"

**Tyler's POV:**

I sit on the bed just trying to stop my self from shaking and trying to figure out what I'm going to say to Ricky. The guy in the cell with me looks to be over six foot tall and out weighs me by a lot. He keeps staring, but I just look at my hands and try to contain my tears. Is Connor dead or is he alive? Please heavenly father do not let me have killed that amazing person. My life is a wreck right now.

The guard comes to the cell and tells me to come with him. I gladly leave my cell mate behind and follow Jim to the same room I was in a little over an hour ago. He hands me my phone and tells me to try that person again. Quickly unlocking my phone I call Ricky. He answers and at the mention of Connor, I break down. I beg Ricky to not hate me and then tell him what I did to Connor. I yell at him to go to him, because I couldn't and for him to not hate me. After telling him I hear him sob and sounds like he punched something. I hear the other boys come running and someone picks up the phone.

"Hello, who is this?" I recognized the voice to be Trevor's. "It's Tyler."

"What's wrong?"

"Look Trevor, I don't have much time. There was an accident and Connor was shot in the stomach. I think he might be dead and I need you guys to go to the hospital closet to my house. Please hurry I have to go and I'm so sorry."

I hang up the phone and lay my head on the table and cry. Jim just sits silently on the other side of the table.

"Ummm, Tyler you may need to call your mom or someone so they can come and get you."

"Yeah..." I say as I unlock my phone again and speed dial my mom. Sadly she doesn't answer so I leave her a voicemail.

"Mom, it's Tyler. There was an accident, I'll explain everything later. I'm in jail and need to you come and get me. I love you and I'm so sorry. Just call my phone, my officer will have it. His name is Jim. I'm sorry for disappointing you."

I end the phone call and hand my iphone over to Jim.

"When she calls I'll help her get you out as soon as possible. It was an accident, don't beat yourself up too bad. Okay?"

"Okay and thank you for everything."

"Not all cops are assholes," he tells me as he leads me back to the small cell that I will be staying in till my mom can get out here.


	11. Chapter 10

"I'll go..."

I pick my head up off of JC's shoulder and stand up. He pats me on the back, but won't look at me. The tears are already running down my face. Everyone watches me as I go into the room that Connor's lifeless body is in. The doctor kindly holds the door open for me and closes it as soon as I'm in the room. The walls are gray, the floor is gray, the cover is gray, and Connor is a bright white. My head tells me no, but my feet lead me to the table that holds Connor. I grab ahold of his hand for support, but I know that I won't find any support here anymore.

"Connor... I don't know where to start. You are perfect and I don't know how I can possible go back to that house, because it will be a constant reminder of you. Without your booming laugh filling the house it is empty. I'm going to miss you so much..."

I squeeze his hand to signify my leaving and all I'm hoping for is a squeeze back. But, it will never come no matter how long I wait.

**Sam's POV:**

I just keep staring at my black toms and crying. Why did I have to wear these shoes? Just the sight of them reminds me of Connor, because that boy was crazy for toms. Shortly after Kian went into the room he came out. He strides across the room to the wall opposite of us. He plops down and holds his head with his hands. Like all of us, he is crying. I know what is going to happen next.

"Sam?" The doctor says in a way of a question.

I sigh and slowly walk myself towards the door. Connor and I had never been super super close, but he was still like a brother to me. Of all the other members he was the easiest going and was always willing to listen. He knew all the secrets his friends had, because we trusted him. As the door shuts, I'm surrounded by the silence in the room. It only takes me five steps to reach Connor.

"I-I don't want to believe that you are gone. I can't stop thinking of how you were always smiling and how you wanted to travel the world. Connor... Nothing I can say will you bring back, but man thanks for keeping my secrets. Like you said before, 'I'll carry them with me forever.' I'm going to miss you... A lot."

I pat his cold upper arm and turn around to walk away. I'm waiting for him to stop me and smile one last time at me, but once someone dies there is no hope of them returning.

**JC's POV:**

Kian is still crying into his hands and Sam looks as if he has seen a ghost. He just returns to his seat and stare at his shoes, not even bothering to wipe away the tears. I don't want to see Connor like this, I want to remember him as the energetic, cute person he was. But, I can't not see him. So with a sigh I head towards the door.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." The doctor tells me as the door is opening.

"I have to..."

He looks so innocent, like a child sleeping. I wish he was just sleeping.

"Hey Connor..." I let out a sob before I continue. "Why you... You didn't deserve this. Please Connor just let me wake up and all of this be a horrible dream."

I stand there looking at his face waiting for a response from him.

"Sadly this is not a dream. You will never wake up and I'll have to go back to reality... Without you. God Connor, I'm going to miss you more then you will ever know."

I slowly make my way to the door, but with one hand on the door I remember one last thing I need to say.

"Thanks for keeping my crush on Kian a secret and for always being there to talk."

**Trevor's POV:**

JC leaves the room with hands in his pockets and a blank stare. He flops back into his chair and stares at the ceiling. I know I'm next, then Zoe, Alfie, Troye, and Ricky. My hands are shaking and I'm nervous to see one of my best friends.

"Trevor it's your turn." They kindly open the door and usher me in.

"Connor..." I can't stop myself from falling down to my knees. I rest my head on his cold, strong arm and let out a couple of sobs.

"You were one of my best friends and like a brother to me. I don't know if I can let you go... I hate the fact that you won't be waking up or making another youtube video tomorrow. Connor you are my inspiration and my idol. I want to be able to smile and make others smile. I want to find that one person I can make happy, like you did for Ricky. I hope one day that you can look down and me happy with the person that I have become. I love you Connor."

I leave my head on his arm for a while just kneeling beside the bed. My hope was that he would pat me on the head and tell me everything was okay, but it just wasn't going to happen.

**Zoe's POV:**

The doctor had to go in and get Trevor from the room. Poor kid was taking it hard and I wish I could comfort him. But I was a mess, too.

"Um, ma'am? Would you like to go next?"

"Yes please," I said to the doctor as I unwrapped myself from Alfie's warm and strong arms. The doctor eased me into the room and shut the door.

"Oh Connor... I'm at a lost of words. You were a perfect boy and you could be beautiful girl with some makeup. Connor, I'm going to miss you a bunch. I don't know why you are being taken away from us, but be safe. I'll see you another day, maybe. Hopefully you will still be cute and will still know how to cheer me up."

I leaned down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. As the doctor opened the door for me I whispered, "love you."

**Alfie's POV:**

I was starting to lose it, but I needed to be strong for Zoe. She didn't take death well and I had to be there for here. When she came back in I gave her a quick hug before going to the room.

"Well... Connor I haven't known you for very long, but you were a great kid. I'm going to miss watching your videos and talking to you. You always knew how to make everyone's day so much better. Thank you for being there for all of us, especially me during the zalfie moments. I guess this is goodbye for now, I hate that we have to separate."

I take one more look at Connor and leave the room.

**Troye's POV:**

Alfie returns from the room and goes straight to Zoe's side. He wraps her into a big hug and he silently cries with her. I wish Tyler was here right now, he could be my rock. I'm still holding Ricky when the doctor approaches me.

"Is is Troye?"

"Yes..."

"It's your turn, you can go in whenever you are ready." I share a look with Trevor as I unwrap my arms from Ricky. Trevor instantly takes my place and supports Ricky's body with his smaller body. I don't want to see him, because then for a fact I will know he is dead and it is all my fault. I hear the door close behind me and I walk towards Connor.

"I'm so sorry Connor. This is all my fault! If I would've not asked you to go check on Tyler this would've never happened. You would still be breathing curled into bed fast asleep awaiting for tomorrow... But your tomorrow will never come. Connor please forgive me... I don't know what to do. I've lost Tyler and you. What do I do? I'm so lost Connor. If you were here you would give me such great advice, then you would smile and hug me. Connor... I really would like to have had one last special hug that would tell me that everything was going to be okay. I love you Connor and will absolutely never forget you. When everything was wrong you were that beacon of hope that helped me through it. I will never be able to repay my debt to you... Thank you for being such a great person."

A new set of tears stream down my face as I lean down towards Connor. I awkwardly hug him, just hoping and begging that those muscled up arms would loop around my back and pull me tight. But, I'm left with nothing but the emptiness in my heart.

**Ricky's POV:**

Troye returns from the room and I know that I'm next. I shuffle my feet as I walk into the room and the door closes behind me. He just lays there on the table, lifeless.

"Connor..." I choke out as a wave of fresh tears cascade over me. I lay down beside his body and just stare into his face.

"Please Connor... Open your eyes one last time so I can tell you how I truly feel. If you did open your eyes, I would tell you that you are the one person in the world that I can't live with out. Connor I have fallen for you so hard that there is nope hope in me ever getting up. You were the one person that completely understood me and was always willing to keep me warm at night. Who is going cuddle with me at night? Who is going to fix my hair when it looks bad? Who is going to remind me to wear my retainer? Connor I don't know what I'm going to do without you. There are not strong enough words in the dictionary to describe how much I love you..."

I lay my forehead on his and just cry.

" you need to hurry up, 's parents would like to see him," the doctor says through the door. I slowly get up and fix Connor back to his regular position.

"Connor I had been waiting for the right time to tell you, but..." I let my sentence trail off, because I can't finish it. I can't. I quickly kissed him on the lips and walked to the door. As the doctor is pushing me out, I take one last glance at him before the door closes.


	12. Chapter 11

Tonight was a good night, which was a rare occurrence. I wasn't even going to go out, but I decided that I had a life and I deserved to get out of the house every once in a while. It was ten o'clock when I finally gracefully fell down onto the couch in the living room. Boy was I exhausted, but I thought it wouldn't hurt for me to check my phone before going to bed. I noticed that I had a miss call from Tyler, oh Jackie you never miss his calls. Ugh, hopefully he didn't freak out and think something was wrong. Tyler had left me a voicemail, which was probably going to tell me that he was calling to check in on me. He was too sweet for his own good, I still cling to the hope that I can keep him safe. I put my phone on speaker phone as I go into the kitchen to get a glass of water. His words shatter my heart and I feel like the worst mother in the world.

"Mom, it's Tyler. There was an accident, I'll explain everything later. I'm in jail and need to you come and get me. I love you and I'm so sorry. Just call my phone, my officer will have it. His name is Jim. I'm sorry for disappointing you."

I dropped the glass of water, which shattered at my feet. I ran for the phone and called him. How could I have missed this important of a call? The phone just kept ringing and the longer it went on the more tears fell out of my eyes. Finally someone answered and I sighed a sigh of relief.

"Hello, um is this Tyler's mom?"

"Y-yes, is this Jim?"

"Yes it is. Ma'am your son is in some deep trouble." My heart shattered, is this why Tyler had told me sorry because he thought he had disappointed me? What had he done to get him in jail?

"What happened?" "Ma'am your son tried to commit suicide." Oh God not my baby Tyler. I thought he was better and he promised me to never try again. The sobs escaped my lips, mostly because Tyler thought I would be disappointed in him for trying. There is nothing in the world that he could do to make me disappointed in him.

"Are you okay?"

"Just a little shocked and upset at myself."

"Ma'am I don't believe that this is your fault. The worst part is the gun misfired and Tyler hit it trying to make it work again. It then went off and hit a young boy named Connor whom we believe was coming over to visit."

"Jim are you telling me that my son is a murderer?"

"No ma'am. It has been ruled an accident..."

"THEN WHY IN THE HELL IS HE IN JAIL!?" I cut him off because Tyler could and wouldn't be able to handle jail. He was too small and out there to avoid issues with the others.

"Because he attempted suicide he is not allowed to leave. Not until an adult over the age of eighteen and with your permission comes and picks him up."

"Okay, I'll get a hold of someone soon."

"I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm trying to help."

"I know you are and thank you. I have to go now." I hung up before hearing him say goodbye. Think Jackie who is there that would be willing to go and get him after such a horrific accident?

**Troye's POV:**

Connor's parents weren't doing good. Hell, none of us were. How do you take the news that your best friend/son was shot by his best friend? I don't know, but I need fresh air, like now. I get up out of the chair and do a half sprint half walk to the elevator. I then head for the revolving door and take in a long breath of fresh air. I find a bench nearby where I just sit and watch the traffic going by. How could those people be so unaware of the pain happening here at this moment? My thoughts were interrupted by my phone vibrating in my pocket. Who would be calling me right now? The name sends a shiver down my back and a horrible thought into my head. The caller id said 'Queen Jackie' and I jump to the conclusion he did it. Tyler committed suicide.

"Please tell me he is okay!?" I blurt into the phone before she even had a chance to speak.

"Troye... Tyler is in jail and they won't let him out without someone getting him. It would take me a day or two to get out there and we both know Tyler will not make it long in jail. Please Troye... I would hate myself if something happened to him." I hear her crying through the phone and knew what I had to do.

"Shh shhh, I'll go get him for you."

"Thank you so much Troye, I'll never be able to thank you enough. My flight leaves tomorrow morning." I quickly say goodbye and hold my head in my heads. How could I face Tyler again after what he had done to me? I instantly touch my bruised ribs and rub my hand gently over my stomach, arms, and face where all the bruises were that he had left on me. I can do this... Or can I?


	13. Chapter 12

***Warning: this chapter contains nsfw non-con. If you're not into that, skip this chapter. Sorry.***

**Tyler's POV:**

Chill bumps are on my arms and I'm shaking from how cold it is in the soundproof cell. I keep avoiding eye contact with the guy. He pops his knuckles which causes me to look at him. His eyes are almost black and contain the look of lust and hatred. The smirk that plays on his lips are perfect to the point of crazy ax-murderer. I keep my eyes on my hands, that are looped together in front of me. He clears his throat before shouting, "you a virgin?"

I remain silent and close my eyes hoping he will stop talking. But my wish was not going to come true.

"You going to answer me ya no good for nothin punk?"

In a quick motion he darts towards me and grabs my throat. My eyes widen with terror and my heart starts racing, because he has lifted me off of the ground.

"No!" I choke out, trying to get air into my deflating lungs.

"Good. Now are you going to try and fight or lay down and let this happen?" He asks me glaring into my eyes and laughs as tears come down my face.

"You should've stayed home momma's boy."

He shoves me onto the ground and forces my face into the cold concrete ground. Both of my arms are pulled together and he holds them with one gigantic hand. He straddles me and uses his free hand to yank his dick out of his uniform.

"I'm going to enjoy this. You? Not so much."

I force myself to hold in the sobs that want to escape, but just quietly cry into the hard, unforgiving floor. Never did I imagine myself being in this situation and don't want to be. I feel the crook's hand lower my pants to my ankles. He then rubs his rough, dirty hands up and down my legs.

"P-please..." I mumble more to myself then to him.

"Please what?"

"You don't have to do this."

"I don't, but when your me and you see a gay guy all alone I just need him. And who could pass on the opportunity? Soundproof room, no one to help you, and you being so much weaker then me. There is no reason not to do this."

"But, this is..."

"SHUT UP! I know what this is, how do you think I got in here. Damn, now shut up or I'll cut down the time between each round."

I lay my forehead on the ground giving into him. I guess this is my punishment for beating the shit out of Troye. Oh baby Troye... If I would've just talked to him none of this would have happened. I feel him adjust me to where he wants me, I don't try to fight back. I feel him positioning his dick at my entrance. Oh my God, he is doing this without any lube or stretch me.

"Just think of something else... Troye." I whisper into the ground trying to not think of what is going to happen. I feel him sliding in and the pain is horrible and nearly unbearable. As he rocks back and forth, I mumble to myself words of comfort.

"His smile when he shows his teeth. The way he lights up a room by just walking in. How his awkwardness can make everyone laugh, even in the worst of situations. His adorable accent that makes my knee weak. The way he is so strong and caring. He completes me and," The man behind me picks up speed and I can't hold it any longer. I scream the next sentence, "I'M SORRY, TROYE."

I break down crying because I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me. When the man finally gets what he wants, he pulls out and goes back to his side of the cell. I'm too in shock to pull of my pants. I was just raped and I finally let go of my ego and realized that I love an eighteen year old Australian youtuber.

**Author's Note:**

I hate myself right now. Why did I write this again? Ugh! I'm sorry for this, but... I have no excuse. Just wait though it will get happier! I promise this story will have somewhat of a happy ending! Because I couldn't leave it with a sad ending even if I wanted to.

Side note, I've figured out what I'm going to do when I reach 1,000 reads! I think you guys will like it... It is going to be Ronnor related and happy. It will include smut, since I know how much you guys love it. But I'm in the process of getting that done and will post it asap! Big shout out to Kalina *WalkingonFirex* for giving me this idea!

I love you guys so much! Thank you for reading, voting, and commenting!

Follow me on twitter and tumblr - shipperfection

Also, my best friends and I started a youtube channel so if you want you can go and check that out! Channel's name is Kara Kalina Alyssa ADED


	14. Chapter 13

**Troye's POV:**

I end the call with Tyler's mom and let out a long frustrated sigh. I run a hand through my hair and leave the uncomfortable bench. The elevator takes its sweet time to reach my floor, which leaves me with ample time to decide who to tell what was happening and where I was going. I'm defiantly not telling Ricky, he was taking it the worse. Maybe Kian or Trevor? I let out a barely audible sigh and see that Kian is curled into a ball crying and Trevor is holding Ricky as he cries. Trevor makes eye contact with me as I walk in and shoots his eyebrows up asking me something along the lines of what's wrong. I nod towards the door and he starts whispering into Ricky's ear.

"JC?" Trevor says with a questioning tone and then nods down towards Ricky. JC instantly understands what Trevor is asking and he comes over to take Trevor's spot. When Trevor is relived of his job he calmly walks towards the door. I follow behind him trying to decide what exactly I was going to do.

"What's wrong Troye?" "It's Tyler." Trevor doesn't respond, but tilts his head to the left urging me to continue.

"He... He is in jail and I just got off the phone with his mom. The police won't let him leave without someone signing him out..."

"Troye, you know what you have to do..."

"But, Trevor he did this to me," I point to my black eyes and pull up my shirt to show off my bruises all over my chest and back.

"Troye... You can't run from him forever and he needs you."

"I-I know...But, Trevor I think I might l-love him..." I start crying and he just wraps me into a hug. I know now why Ricky wouldn't let Trevor go, because he was warm and calming.

"Go to him before it is too late."

**Ricky's POV:**

The tears won't stop coming and memories of Connor flood my head. The good and bad memories keep replaying in my mind, they are all I can see and hear. I smile through the tears at some, because they are just perfect. He was perfect. But I hate myself for yelling at him earlier that morning.

*Flashback*

"Wake up babe," Connor hummed into my ear. I grumbled at him for attempting to wake up earlier then noon. All I wanted to do was lay in bed with my sexy best friend all day and talk nerdy to him.

"But, Con!"

"No buts. We have a meet and greet today, also last time I checked you get ready super duper slow!"

"Grrh. Can we skip?" I picked my head up off of his chest to look him in the eyes and give him my best puppy dog face. He didn't look amused and just got out of bed. I grabbed my boxers from last night and slipped them on as I stumbled to his room. Damn my ass hurt even more then normal today.

"Con what's wrong?"

"Nothing, but I got you out of bed didn't I?"

"CONNOR! HOW RUDE?"

"I was just joking with you Ricky..." I was furious at this moment, because he had made me think that he was leaving me and I couldn't handle that.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE ME!"

"STOP JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS RICKY! HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO GET THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL I'M NOT GOING TO LEAVE ANYTIME SOON! DAMN IT RICKY I'M TRYING!"

"If you don't plan on leaving what does this make us?" He looked at the floor and just remained silent.

"Well? Tell me the truth, are we just friends with benefits or something more? I need to know Connor."

"HELL! I don't know! I wish I did, but I don't know yet!" It was my turn to remain silent.

"Just stop, we can talk about this later. All this shouting is going to wake the others and the last thing we need are their questions. Just act like all of this didn't happen, okay?"

"Promise we will talk about this whole thing later."

"I promise, now get ready. I'll wake the others."

*End of Flashback*

Dammit Ricky, why did you have to be such a sensitive fool? Look where this has gotten us, me crying my eyes out and Connor lying lifeless on a table.

"I always knew you would leave me..." I whisper to myself, as the sobs take over my body again.


	15. Chapter 14

**Troye's POV:**

I get the keys from Alfie, luckily he didn't ask any questions about why I needed them. The car was by itself, majority of people had left or moved their car to the other side of the hospital. I slide in and adjust the seat and mirrors, so I can see. Couple minutes later I'm pulling into Tyler's house, I thought that he might need clothes and would get them in case. I put the car in park and walk to the door, that was unlocked. I walk in and see the large red puddle stain on the floor and the splatter marks on the walls. My knees give out and I sink to the floor.

"I'm so sorry Connor... This is all my fault, if I would have stopped drinking that night and if I would've stopped Tyler from leaving Australia without me this would have never happened! Hopefully one day you can forgive me and then maybe I can forgive myself."

I sit there for the longest of time and then realize that I had to be at the police station as soon as possible. I walk towards Tyler's room and grab a t-shirt, sweatpants, and a pair of shoes. After I have the clothes I walk out the door refusing to look at the stain from Connor's blood. I close the door behind me and head towards the car. Twenty minutes later I finally find the police station and park. I go to the receptionist desk, which is centered in front of the automatic doors.

"Hello, how can I help you?"

"Um, I'm here to pick someone up."

"May I know the name of that someone so I can get ahold of their officer?"

"Tyler Oakley." She types in the name into the system and picks up the phone.

"Hey Jim, someone is here to pick up prisoner 3856." I faintly hear someone on the other side of the line, but can't make out any words.

"Jim will be here in a couple of seconds. So you can have a seat over there," she said pointing towards a waiting area.

"Thank you," I tell her and flop down into a chair. I hadn't realized I had closed my eyes until I heard someone walking towards me.

"Hi, I'm Jim, Tyler's officer," he says to me with a hand out. I shake his hand before telling him who I was.

"I'm Troye."

"Do you have an type of identification on you? Just need it to make sure you are eighteen and that you are in fact who Miss Jackie told us that would be picking up her son."

"No problem," I dig out my license from my back pocket and hand it to him. After glancing at it he hands it back to me.

"Before we let him leave, we need to talk to you. Don't worry, we are just going to tell you what is going to need to happen over the next two weeks. After hearing all the details of what you are going to have to do you can decide whether or not you accept the terms and are willing to take him. You can follow me to my office." We walk down a long corridor of cells that are all full, but I don't see Tyler anywhere.

"He is in the other corridor," Jim says knowing that I would be looking for him. He opens the door to his office letting me in first, then closing the door behind him. I sit in the chair across from him and prepare myself for what I might or might not hear.

"So, as you may know attempted suicide and then killed . The court and officers have ruled this as an accident, therefore all murder charges towards have been dropped. But, the judge has ruled that must go to a therapist four times a week, until the therapist has released him. He is not allowed to live alone, until the court has evidence that is stable and deemed fit to be allowed to live alone again. As the person signing this, you will be agreeing to these terms."

"Wait, if I sign this that means I have to move in with him and take care of him?"

"Yes."

"I don't know, can I sign it and allow someone else to live with him?"

"No, would it be a trouble for you to live with him?"

"Its just that I live in Australia... And will eventually need to go home at some point."

" would have to go with you. Wherever you go, he goes."

"Okay, I can do this. He is my best friend I can't leave him here." Jim handed me the papers telling me where to sign and date.

" is all ready to leave. I'll go and get him, can you get back to the front office?"

"I think so." He nods and we both walk different ways. When I get to the front area I see the receptionist typing away on her computer and that it had gotten dark outside. Looking at my phone I realize that it is almost midnight.

**Tyler's POV: **

I wonder how long I've been here... Each time my cellmate gets up I know what is going to happen. I've given up on trying to fight back, I just give in and it ends quicker. At night I cry myself to sleep from the pain of the endless raping and the fact I killed Connor. I hear footsteps from down the hall and notice it is Jim. He comes to my cell and opens the door.

"Oakley, lets go." I jump off of the bed and run out of the cell. Jim starts walking back down the corridor and I start to follow.

"By babe, maybe we can see each other again one day." I cringe at his words and hurry to catch up with Jim.

"Where am I going?"

"Someone has came and signed you out. They will explain what is going to happen and Tyler you have to listen to them. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Seriously Tyler, if you don't listen you will end up back in here. Got it?"

"Yes, thank you for helping me so much."

"No problem, now come on."

He opens the door to the front area and I see the last person I expected to be here. After everything I done to him, he came.


	16. Chapter 15

**Troye's POV:**

Damn, he looked awful. His hair was a greasy mess and his quiff was nonexistent. The clothes were covered in dry blood... Connor's blood. I stop myself from throwing up reminding myself that's all he had, luckily I brought him a change of clothes. The worst part of him was his eyes. The usually beautiful eyes that I could get lost in where masked with a layer of tears and lacked hope. My rock was no longer sturdy enough to hold me, he couldn't even hold himself. Not trusting my voice I start towards the door and Tyler follows me. I go to the backseat and grab the clothes, hand them to him, and he climbs in the backseat to change. When he finishes he knocks on the window to tell me I could turn around. I sit in the driver's seat and Tyler is in the passenger's seat. Before I could start the car he breaks down. I awkwardly hug him and run my hand softly up and down his back.

"Shhhh Tilly, it's okay. We are going to be okay."

"But, T-Troye I k-killed him! How could I ever forgive myself for that! All of this," he points around and at me before continuing, "is my fault! I'm the one that caused all of this hurt and pain! I ask myself every minute I'm alive why I lived and Connor died!? He didn't do anything to deserve this, I deserved this..."

"How is it your fault? Yeah you pulled the trigger, but I'm the one that called him asking him to go and check on you! If I would've stopped you from leaving Australia or not asked him to go alone to your house, then Connor would still be alive! So if I would've done my job as a friend, we wouldn't be in this situation! Please don't blame yourself because this is ALL my fault!"

"Troye! You look me in the eyes and listen, listen good. This is not your fault. You were being a good, concerned friend by sending him to check on me. Maybe if I wasn't such an asshole we could've talked through everything without all of this happening..."

I quickly hugged him and he pulled me onto his lap to make the hug less uncomfortable and awkward.

"And Troye, I'm so sorry. I don't know what made me think that beating the shit out of you was going to make me feel better, cause it sure as hell didn't. I hate myself for every bruise I put on you, mentally and physically."

"The bruises are not what hurts the most..." I swallow hard and choke back tears before spitting out the rest of the sentence, "the fact you left hurts the worst. I wanted to go after you, but I can't keep chasing something that will never chase after me if I decided to leave." I can't look at him, I can't bring up enough courage to do that. I feel him pulling my chin up, which forces me to make eye contact.

"Please get the insane idea of me never coming after you out of your head. Troye you are the closet human being I have in this world so don't ever think that I wouldn't care if you left."

"Why do you care? Look at me! I'm repulsively skinny with huge eyes and no confidence."

"Because I love you, dammit."

**Tyler's POV:**

Did I really just tell Troye I loved him? But wait, do I love-love him. I've had feelings for him, but I just thought that flirting was the farthest I'd ever get with him.

"I think I love you, too," he whispers so quietly I barely can hear him.

"Troye you don't have to say it just, because I said it."

"I'm being serious. You have always had a special spot in my heart and I just can't rid of you nor do I want to try, anymore."

"Anymore?" I ask because my curious side wants to know.

"Yeah, when I first meet you I tried to avoid my feelings, but you kept flirting back and then I was gone. You don't understand the impact you've had on my life."

"You don't understand the impact you've had on my life either. Troye you helped me get my confidence back and ignore the hate. When I let the hate get the better of me, we both got hurt and so did Connor. You are one of the main reasons I'm alive, because if I would have never meet you... I probably would've killed myself a long time ago."

"Tilly, please don't say that. You have always been the stronger one and the one that helped me. I will never be able to thank you enough," he says with tears threatening to leave his eyes. I don't want to admit it, but I did help him. He was cutting when I first meet him and I forced myself into the situation to try and help him. It's been three years now and he is clean. I use my thumbs to wipe away the tears.

"Shhh, it's okay. We are going to be okay, you hear me? Nothing will ever bring us down when we have each other." Troye quickly picked his head up off of my shoulder and his eyes shined bright with delight.

"I almost forgot! I'm moving in!"

"What!?"

"You can't say no and my parents can't say no either."

"How is that going to happen?"

"Well, when I signed the release form for you I became your 'guardian' so to speak. The court is forcing me to live with you, because they have deemed you are not stable enough to live on you own. So I guess you are kinda stuck with me for a while."

"That is the best news I've had all day."

"Good, but I have to go to Australia once this is um taken care of," he pauses for a moment realizing that in the real world we had a huge problem. "I need to pack my stuff and you have to come with me."

"Um, why? Can't I stay home with my mom or someone?"

"Nope. The papers stated wherever I go you go."

"Okay my little Aussie I guess we can go to Australia together. I personally think this an excuse to rile up the fans."

"Troyler fivever," he mumbled as he crawled back to the driver's seat. He starts the car and I become very tense. What are my friends going to think?

"Um, Troye..."

"Yeah."

"Do they blame me for this?"

**Author's Note:**

Troyler moments and a little of background story, I guess. Well who is going to hate Tyler and who is going to still be his friend? Comment who you think is going to what side: Ricky, Trevor, Kian, JC, Sam, Zoe, and Alfie.

I personally don't really like this chapter, just because I don't feel like it well written. Oh well, I need to post since I didn't yesterday. Thanks so much for reading, voting, and commenting!

I love you guys so much!3

Feel free to message me!

Follow me on Twitter & Tumblr - shipperfection

My YouTube Page - Kara Kalina Alyssa ADED


	17. Chapter 16

**Kian's POV:**

I hate this hospital. I hate the fact that Connor is dead, he didn't deserve this. How are any of us supposed to move on without him? I couldn't stop the tears after I saw his lifeless body... He was an amazing friend that was always willing to listen.

When I came out of the room I couldn't bare to see the looks on their faces or hear their comforting words. So I just sat by myself and cried. It seems that is all I have been doing for the past couple of days. When Trevor said JC I glanced up to see that he was still holding Ricky and Troye was in front of him. JC took Trevor's position and Troye and Trevor went to the hallway. Maybe Troye needed to talk to him, but I don't know what about... Who cares.

Minutes later Trevor came back in and helped JC usher Ricky to the chairs. Trevor was acting like a father to all of us... He was always comforting us and nobody was helping him.

We all just sit in the room crying in silence, nobody dared to speak because nobody could form words. The only thing that seemed to want to talk was my stomach. It just kept rumbling and making weird noises.

"You should go get something to eat," Zoe tells me as she sits down beside me wrapping a small arm around me.

"I don't feel like eating though."

"You may not feel like it, but your body needs food. He wouldn't want you to starve yourself." I nod my head and she helps me up.

"I'm going to go down to the cafeteria... Does anyone want anything?" They all look at me questioningly and then to each other.

"Just get seven coffees and an order of chicken nuggets with french fries from McDonalds," Trevor says and then looks around for someone to change their order. Nobody does and I go to leave to get the food.

"Wait, I'll go with you. You can't carry all of that on your own," Sam says to me as he gets out of the chair.

"Come on," I say as we leave the room. We make our way down to the food court and find McDonalds. There was no line so we got our order in very quick and the food minutes later. Sam carried the drinks and I carried the bags of food. It took us longer to get back up to the room, because carrying that many bags didn't make it easy to open doors. After hitting the door to the room once with my foot, Zoe opened the door for us to come in. I stopped dead in my tracks, because Troye was back with Tyler.

"Here's the food," I say in a monotone voice, hoping nobody catches my uneasiness in the situation. It was like nobody carried that the person that murdered Connor was in the same room as us. Why is he even here?

Trevor being the mother-hen that sees all notices and nods towards the door. I walk outside with him, I just stand there waiting to hear what he is going to say.

**Trevor's POV:**

I was so happy when Kian suggested food, my stomach felt like it was caving in. When nobody answered him, I just kinda ordered for everybody. Luckily Sam offered to help him, because there was no way he could carry it all on his own. A minute after Kian left the door opened and Troye came in with Tyler behind him. Zoe quickly bear hugged him and Alfie gave him a quick hug. His face was pale and his eyes were bloodshot from crying. None of us complained about him being here, but I felt a slight tension in the room. We just continued to wait in silence for our food to be delivered.

Finally we hear someone knock on the door and Zoe opened the door to reveal Kian and Sam. After everyone got their food, I signaled Kian to meet me in the hallway.

"Kian what's wrong?" I ask after closing the door.

"What do you mean? Connor is dead and the guy that murdered him is in the room."

"We all know it was an accident Kian..."

"I know, but he still killed him and took him from us."

"What would you want us to do, tell him to leave because he is not allowed to mourn the lose of his friend?"

"I don't know, but I don't want him around me. I hate him for taking Connor away."

"Kian... You just need time, I'm sorry that you can't look past the accident and realize Tyler is hurting, too. I'm still his friend, because that is what Connor would have wanted."

"Maybe one day I can be his friend again, but for now I hate him and can't forgive him for what he did," Kian leaves me in the hallway to go back to the room. What am I going to do? I've forgiven Tyler, because it was an accident, but have the other boys forgiven him?

**Author's Notes:**

Well, you know that Kian hates him and Trevor is still his friend. Next chapter is JC's and Zoe's point of view. I hope you guys liked this chapter, I'll post next chapter Monday!

Message me if you want!

Follow me on Twitter & Tumblr - shipperfection

Don't forget to check out my youtube channel - Kara Kalina Alyssa ADED

KEEP CALM & SHIP TROYLER! See ya Monday my darlings!


	18. Chapter 17

**JC's POV:**

I hadn't realized how hungry I was until Kian handed me a box of chicken nuggets and some fries. The coffee helped keep my eyes open, which was becoming very difficult before. We have been here for over five hours, ever since we got the phone call. I would stay here forever if it meant that Connor would come walking out of that room smiling. I'm still in shock, neither of his parents are talking and they are in a different room then us. Ever since Tyler had gotten here the atmosphere in the room was tense. Particularly I was mad at him, but I'm trying to accept the fact it was an accident and he didn't mean it. When Kian came into the room and saw him I knew instantly that Kian hated him. Being his best friend and having a major crush on him over the past couple of years helps you pick up on the details of a person. Overall, I would stand beside Kian, because he had my heart and I didn't want it back.

We are such a weird looking group, I mean just think about it. Eight teenagers and young adults who have been crying for over five hours, it is not a pretty sight. None of us have left yet, because we don't know what to do. Where do we go? What do we do? How do we leave him behind?

There was four chairs along the wall adjacent from the door and a small couch across from the chairs. Trevor and Ricky sit on one side of the couch and Zoe and Alfie sit on the other. Ricky just continues to silently cry into Trevor's tear soaked t-shirt, but Trevor doesn't mind. Zoe sits on Alfie's lap laying her head on his shoulder and is wrapped up tightly within his arms, holding her like she could be taken away from him any moment. Tyler and Troye sit on the floor with their backs up against the wall. Sam, Kian, and I sit in the chairs. We all just remain silently, because nobody has words to offer that could make sense of all that has happened. The silence is broken by someone knocking on the door. Troye picks himself off of the ground to answer the door. He opens the door for a nurse to come in after checking to see who it was.

"I'm so sorry for your lose. But, we need you to leave the grounds. The funeral home the family has selected is coming to get 's body and don't need anyone here to get in the way. There is nothing more we can do to help you, I'm sorry." After finishing what she had come here to do, she left without another word.

"What do we do?" Sam asked the group, searching for an answer to a question we all were asking ourselves.

"I guess we have to leave..." Trevor whispers.

"We need to find a hotel to stay at," Alfie goes to say, but is cut off by Ricky.

"No."

"Ricky, we need to find a place to stay..." Zoe says with a softness in her voice that somewhat comforts me, because it is so mother-like.

"You can stay at the O2L house, that is what he would've wanted," Ricky says the last part with a defeated tone that lacked hope.

"Yeah, I think it is best that we stay as a group. It's just easier, on me at least," I say.

"Okay... let's go home?" Kian asks questioningly.

We walk as a group to the elevator and all get in. The fresh air feels so good, but it makes me realize that Connor will never get to take a deep breath or walk or speak again. It is stupid of me to think that this was all a dream. I feel the tears running down my face and don't have enough energy to wipe them away. All of a sudden Kian is beside me and grabs my hand leading me towards the car. He keeps a hold of my hand like it is the only thing that is keeping him from falling apart, too.

**Zoe's POV:**

A part of me wanted to stay at the hospital, but the reasonable side told me to leave, because no matter how long I waited he was not coming back to life. I don't know what I would do without Alfie, he has been here for me and I could never think him enough. As we walk outside we stop under the pavilion realizing we have to separate to get everyone to the O2L house.

"Um, I guess we can take the rental car," I say nodding towards Alfie, Tyler, and Troye, "to the house..."

"Okay, I'll drive. You can follow me," Kian says.

We then break up into two different groups. The rest of the O2L gang heading towards Ricky's car, which he had finally gotten back, and then us towards the rental car. Alfie got in the driver's seat, I got in the passenger's seat, and Tyler and Troye got in the back.

"They hate me," I hear Tyler say before being taken over by tears and sobs.

"Tyler, they don't hate you. You are still our friend and one of my best friends. Do not blame yourself for this, it was an accident. It will take time for them to fully understand and accept that, but I promise you that none of them hate you."

"I meant to kill myself, not him."

"Shhh, it's okay Tilly. Everything is going to be okay," Troye says to him as he wraps him into a hug and rubs his back.

"Alfie, Kian is waiting for us."

"Oh, sorry," he says as he backs out of the parking spot and pulls in behind Kian at the redlight. In a matter of seconds the lit turns green and we are on our way to the O2L house. This will be the first time I have ever been there, hopefully it is somewhat clean. But, we are talking about four teenage boys... It is probably filthy. I just keeping thinking of what the house will look like inside and outside to distract myself from the crying in the backseat and Connor's death.

**Author's Note:**

Sorry it is sooooooo short! Next chapter will be better, I promise. Just to clear up who 'hates' or is still friends with Tyler: Kian and JC 'hate' him and Trevor and Zoe are still his friend. Comment whether Alfie or Sam 'hate' him or are still his friend, whoever has the most votes for each side will be what happens. If nobody comments... then I'll just stick to my plan.

Thank you so much for reading, voting, and commenting!

Follow me on Twitter & Tumblr - shipperfection

My YouTube Channel Name - Kara Kalina Alyssa ADED

See ya Wednesdays my lovely readers! Love you guys, as much as I love Nutella! Almost:)


	19. Chapter 18

**Alfie's POV:**

I'm so thankful to be the one driving, because it is a huge distraction. I don't want to think about it... I don't want to be the strong one right now. I've yet to break down, because I'm always the one supporting others, which is not so bad if you think about it. Everything I do or say is a type of distraction from reality. To be truthful, reality sucked and in this moment I wish this was all some story and that when I closed the book everything would be back to normal. But, we all know that is not true... I wish it was though. The only sound in the car is of Tyler's crying, which is getting quieter thanks to Troye's support. Poor Troye, he was having to practically take care of Tyler when he was scared to death he was going to beat the shit out of him again and then leave him. In the passenger's seat, Zoe just stares out the window and is in her own little world... That is her distraction, like Tyler is Troye's distraction, driving is my distraction, and Tyler is yet to grasp a distraction. Couple of minutes later I park the car behind Ricky's car in the driveway. The O2L boys had already gotten out of the car and were awkwardly waiting on us. Tyler and Troye got out first and Zoe was still in la-la land.

"Zoe... We have to go inside," I tell her, trying to be calm and supportive. She quickly nods her head and gets out of the car. I ungracefully get out and follow her towards the rest of the group. We all just stand in a circle, no one makes a move for the door.

"Um, I guess we should go inside..." Trevor says and we all just nod our heads in agreement. We follow Trevor inside the house and it is not as dirty as I thought it was going to be.

"Come on, I'll show you around," Kian says to Zoe, Troye, Tyler, and me. We go to the kitchen and go to the left side of the house.

"There are three bedrooms, this one is mine and I'm sharing it with Sam right now. The next one is JC's room and the last one is where two of you can stay."

"I guess we will take it, thanks," I answer for Zoe and me.

"Okay," Kian says and walks back to the kitchen, through the dining room, and up a flight of stairs where three more bedrooms are.

"This one is Ricky's room, the next was... his," Kian gets a little chocked up but continues to talk, "and the last one is empty. So Troye and Tyler can stay there."

"Okay, thanks for letting us stay," Troye says as he hugs Kian.

"No problem, let's head back down stairs where the rest of the group is."

"Where does Trevor sleep?" Zoe asks as we are going down the stairs.

"For some odd reason he prefers to sleep on the couch, to me a bed is much more comfortable. But, he is weird."

"Okay, I was just wondering if you guys forced him to sleep on the floor or something."

"No, we aren't that mean." Kian tells Zoe as we walk into the living room where the rest of the group is. Kian sits with JC, Sam, and Trevor on the couch. Ricky is one of the recliners and Troye sits with him, leaving Tyler to sit in the other recliner. Zoe and I sit on the love-seat, then it becomes an awkward silence in the room.

**Sam's POV:**

This house feels wrong now... I guess eventually it will get better, but for now it is like this prison full of memories I can't escape. I almost hate this house as much as Tyler, but eventually I'll be ready to move on and forgive him. I can't do it yet... Even if I tried. The awkward silence is unbearable so I speak up.

"How do we tell them?" Everyone looks at me confused, "I mean the fandom."

"I don't know... Do we even tell them?" JC asks.

"They deserve to hear it from us, but we need a plan to control them and keep them from storming the funeral home." Troye says.

"So how do we tell them? The whole truth or parts of the truth?" Kian says.

"We are all youtubers so we make a video to post on everyone's channel." I say.

"Okay... I guess that will work. What do we tell them?" Trevor says.

"The whole truth..." Tylers says without looking up.

"Are you sure? You know what might happen..." I say.

"Tyler you don't have to tell them, it was an accident and don't feel pressured to have to do this..." Zoe says trying to convince Tyler to change his mind.

"They will eventually find out and that would make them mad at all of you, so just tell them the truth... It was an accident," Tyler says.

"Okay, I think I have a plan for them to be involved with the funeral process without getting in the way." Ricky says, which shocks all of us because he was being so quite and isolated lately.

"Tell us then," Trevor says to encourage Ricky to speak.

"What if we got them to line the street from the funeral home to the graveyard's road and/or entrance?" Ricky says.

"That sounds good... We should ask them to wear something of Connor's merch or maroon or gray colored." I say.

"And they could make signs, but we have to explain to them that they need to give us privacy and be very calm and respect our wishes." Troye says.

"Sounds good... let's go get changed into some other outfits before filming the video. Meet back in here in about twenty minutes?" Kian asks. We all just get up and go to our rooms. Ricky, Troye, and Tyler head up stairs. Trevor goes to the bathroom to change since he wants to sleep in the living room on the couch. Zoe and Alfie go into their room, JC goes to his, and I follow Kian into his. It doesn't take me long to find a decent shirt and throw it on. I glance in the mirror, fixing my hair before I left.

"I'll go set up the camera," I tell Kian as I grab the door handle.

"Give me a second and I'll come with you," he says as he checks his hair. When he is done we both leave the room and grab the equipment. The last thing I really want to do right now is make a video...

**Author's Note:**

I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! It's just I'm super busy balancing two jobs and a summer program I'm in for another week. Also, my internet is being sketchy and doesn't want to work half the time. Next chapter is going to be a tear jerker, but I don't know when I'll be able to post it... Sorry. Just stick with me for one more week and I should be back to posting regularly on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Love you guys so much! Thanks for reading, voting, and commenting!

Follow me on Twitter & Tumblr - shipperfection - Feel free to message me!

My YouTube Channel Name - Kara Kalina Alyssa ADED

So this chapter we talked about the death plan, how to tell the fans, what to do, what not to do, blah, blah, blah... Bye!


	20. Chapter 19

**Ricky's POV:**

At this moment I wish we had never uploaded our first video... If we weren't youtubers I wouldn't have to break the news of Connor's death to the whole fucking world. But... They have supported us for so long, they deserve to know and learn it from us. Tyler and Troye followed me up the stairs towards our rooms. I have yet learned why Troye is covered in deep bruises and it just seems pointless right now, there are more important things to do.

I go into my room and just sit on the bed... I am the type of person who always has something to say, but because of this stunning, brown haired youtuber I have lost the ability to form words. Slow agonizing minutes tick bye and I just remain sitting on the bed, until I hear someone knock on my door.

"Come in," I say and the door opens to reveal Tyler, who has changed into a simple white t-shirt. He shuts the door behinds him and I pat the spot beside me on the bed, signaling him to sit down. Tyler then sits down and stares at his toes.

"You came in here for a reason, just tell me. I think I can handle it."

"I-I just was making sure we were... okay? I understand if you hate me, I hate myself. I'm just hoping you can forgive me, because it kills me every second that ticks by thinking that I killed one of my best friends and that there is nothing I can do to save him... I wish that I would've died instead of him."

"Please don't say that Tyler and why would I hate you? I hate myself for letting him leave by himself, I should've went with him."

"Ricky. None of this is your fault, you were a perfect best friend and Connor talked about you nonstop," I couldn't stop the tears from falling and I felt Tyler wrap me up into a hug. I was so gratefully for Tyler being there at that moment, because he was caring and allowed me to cry on his shoulder. When I finally let go of him and looked at his face to see tears running down his face, too.

"I guess I need to go change again..." Tyler said after looking at his shirt. He gets up and leaves me to change. I can't help it, I walk through the bathroom Connor and I use to share into his room. It is dirty everywhere, but the spot behind him when he filmed. I slightly laughed, because for being a perfectionist he didn't care about his room. I grab the first clean-looking shirt I find and throw it on, after taking my other t-shirt off. I check my hair in the bathroom and head down stairs where the others are probably waiting. Kian and Sam already have the camera and stuff set up and are sitting on the back of the coach with Zoe and Alfie. Tyler, Troye, and Trevor are sitting in front of them and I sit between Trevor and Troye, putting me in front of Kian.

"So... How are we going to do this?" Sam asks the group.

"Well, if you prefer not to talk then just tell us now. We understand if just want to be silent support," Trevor says with compassion and glances at all of us.

"We prefer not to talk, I mean we knew and loved Connor, but all of you were closer to him... So we can just be silent supporters, if that is okay?" Zoe says for herself and Alfie.

"That is perfectly fine, anyone else?" Trevor asks.

"I don't know if I can choke out any words that can be understood or make sense to the watchers, to be honest..." JC says softly.

"I'm kinda with JC..." Sam says.

"It's okay you don't have to talk, to be honest I prefer not to, because I don't know what to say." Trevor says.

"Ricky are you okay with talking?" Kian asks me.

"I want to be the one that tells them..."

"Are you sure?" Troye asks me, questioning whether or not I could handle telling what happened to the fans, because I could barely say his name.

"Yeah, I feel like I need to and should."

"Okay then... Ricky will do the majority of the talking. If you have something to add then just wait until he is done and then say it." Trevor says.

"I'll press the record button," Troye says as he gets up and walks over to the camera and presses the correct button. I wait for him to sit back down and look at me.

"Hey you guys, it's O2L here with Zoe, Alfie, Troye, and Tyler. No we aren't doing a collab video, even though we would love to be doing one instead of this. But we need to have a major talk..." I stop, because I can no longer force myself to keep smiling and pretending to be happy. I wipe away a tear before it could fall and I feel Troye place his hand on my shoulder. I look back up at the camera and start speaking again, "Sorry, I just can't keep acting like everything is okay, because it is not. If you haven't noticed yet... Connor is missing from this video. I don't know how to tell you this, but there was a huge accident and it didn't end well." I start to feel sobs rising up in the back of my throat to match the tears. Before I start speaking again, I hear a lot of sniffles, sobs, and deep breathing.

"Connor was shot... and didn't make it to the hospital. We are all heartbroken and don't know what to do or how to move on, but it's hard to think about a tomorrow without Connor in it. He filled the house with laughter and awkwardness. Connor was not just a youtuber... He was my best friend and I loved him so freaking much. Words can't describe what that boy meant to me..." I stop only because I feel Trevor's little arms wrap me in a hug.

"It's hard on all of us... The main reason we filmed this video was to let you know what happened. We thought you deserved to hear this from us, we want you to know that Connor loved his fans and had the wish to one day meet all of you at least once, but... but... but..." I lose my voice and sobs replace it. I have cried in the past five days more then I have in my whole life. When I regain my voice I attempt to choke out words, but my voice just won't work, so Kian speaks for me.

"We have assumed that some of y'all would like to be at the funeral and be apart of it, but the funeral home is not big enough for all of us to fit in and the family has asked for fans not to come into the funeral home. But, we would like to make you apart of the process, since you meant so much to Connor and mean so much to us. What we would like you to do is wear some of Connor's merch, his favorite color, toms, something that reminds you of him and line the street from the funeral home to the graveyard. Please don't do something that you will regret and have you forced to leave, because we want this to work, but you have to be on good behavior and listen to us. Okay?"

"We don't know when we will post videos and please don't ask. We love all of you and hope that you will continue to support us. The address for the funeral home and graveyard will be below. Pause... We can cut this out, how should we end the video?"

"We could all do Connor's ending together or we could just take turns doing everybody's endings?" Troye offers his ideas to the group.

"We could do our endings then do Connor's?" Kian suggests to the group.

"Sounds good to me, we can go Zoe, Alfie, Kian, JC, Sam, Tyler, Troye, me, Trevor, and then Connor's ending together," I say to the group and they all nod in agreement.

I zone out and just staring at my feet, I wore his favorite pair of toms... I smile as new tears replace the old ones. He was special, I'll never find anyone that could take his place. I feel Trevor nudges me as Tyler says his goodbye and then Troye does his wink and long bye, then it is my turn. We all move for each word and snap our fingers, we then all go back to our original spots so Trevor can do his ending. We then all start speaking one hundred miles per hour and then yell out bye and Kian jumps over my head and runs up to the camera with his hands. He then pushes the button to stop it. He quickly hands the memory card over to Troye and Tyler.

"Y'all are better editors then us," he says and returns to his seat.

"You can use my computer to edit it," I say.

"Okay, thanks." Tyler says.

"We can have it edited in about thirty minutes and then we can all post it," Troye says as he walks towards the stairs with Tyler right behind him.

"So what now?" I ask the group.

"We should try to relax, I guess." Alfie says.

"I'm going to go for a run," I say and head upstairs to change. I walk into my room and grab a shirt, pair of shorts, and my tennis shoes. I change in the bathroom and walk back down the stairs and out the front door. It is the beginning of summer and usually it is super hot out, but it was seven in the afternoon which made it a little cooler. I just start moving my feet forward and count the steps, which helps keep my mind busy. After I make it five blocks, I turn around and head back towards the house. I forgot what number I am on and end up thinking about how Connor use to run with me. I'm going to miss the small things about him. Like the taste of his lips, the way he used to dive into the pool head first, the way he liked it when I drove us places, the way he use to dress me, and come up with excuses to wear my clothes. I finally make it to the front door and walk in to see everyone on their laptops.

"We are ready to post it..." Tyler tells me as he hands me my laptop with the video already uploaded to youtube, all I needed to do was to press the publish button. We sit in a circle and count down, then press publish together. After the video uploaded, I closed my laptops and felt like crying again. Connor was never going to be able to film, edit, or upload another video... It killed me to know that he was done and over. I keep hoping this is all but a dream.

"So... now what?" Zoe asked the group.

"I guess, go to sleep and see what tomorrow holds?" Tyler says shrugging his shoulders. A couple of them start to get up, but I have to tell them.

"I'm gay."

**Author's Notes:**

I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON AND I'M SO FREAKING SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! You have permission to kill me, just kidding, please don't. My posting schedule should be back to normal! So yeah! I love you guys so much and thank you so much for getting this story to 2,000 reads, you don't understand but that means so much to me and I can't think you enough!

Thank you for reading, voting, and commenting!

Follow me on Twitter & Tumblr - shipperfection - Feel free to message me!

Youtube Channel - Kara Kalina Alyssa ADED

Okay *snaps fingers* Guys *snaps fingers* See *snaps fingers* Ya *snaps fingers* Later *snaps fingers*


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